Spectrum Middle School’s (SMS’s) first counselor was Ms. KellyAnn Lockrem. When the 7/8 Campus opened in the fall of 2018, Ms. Lockrem took on full-time the responsibility of being there for the middle school students. She would do what all counselors do, focusing on supporting students socially, emotionally, and developmentally through the daily challenges of adolescence.
Spectrum Middle School’s first Dean of Students was Mr. Seth Mills. In that same fall of 2018, Mr. Mills shifted from primarily a classroom teacher to being responsible for enforcing the district’s Student/Family Handbook for middle school students. He would do what deans do, supporting the positive conduct of students while assigning the consequences laid out for behaviors that broke the identified expectations.
These two vital roles and their responsibilities were critical to the success of the new middle school campus. In fact, for communication and clarity of proper support, Ms. Lockrem created a document that identified the differences between the two roles. The hope was that teachers, parents, and students would know the person to go to when they needed help. And, expected or not, these roles fell into two defined mindsets: the counselor was a protector, and the dean was an enforcer.
The years came and went – including a worldwide pandemic – and I learned and grew with the community, so in 2023 our conduct foundation was created into a collaborative partnership, among staff, families, and students. While there have been times in which a partnership has not been desired or the collaboration has not been successful, a foundation of a relationship that positively impacts their world (our Belief Statement) was formed. Since then we operate in a relational discipleship model. In the words of Chip Engelland, an NBA shooting coach, he says, “It’s fundamentally about the balance between challenge and safety.” Challenge (high standards) helps players grow…while safety (support) helps them trust that they won’t be harmed, emotionally or physically, by stretching out of their comfort zones. He – we! – want them to develop their own “coaches in their heads.”
Time after time, however, when we (school, home, sports, etc.) are too much the protector or too much the enforcer, we “steal the pain” from our adolescents. Everyone needs to have a poor test, not make a team, have a relationship not work out, get teased, become a bit embarrassed, experience stress. Stress is the natural by-product of us choosing to do something hard that is important to us. If adults steal the pain, adolescents are shielded from difficulties and therefore do not grow, develop, and learn, especially how to be resilient and handle hard situations. The protector shields so nothing is uncomfortable while the enforcer demands without showing the way or providing the necessary tools/experiences.
The 2025-26 school year is coming to its conclusion. The summer days with no bells to guide them and limited cares to have to worry about are almost here. A new rhythm with sports and activities, friendships and books and movies and lakes and…whatever else comes their way will be here in a month. Situations will arise that could potentially be painful. Do not need steal them. Instead, as Dawn Staley, South Carolina women’s basketball coach, says, “I love you enough to allow you to fail.” Let us embrace the pain. Whether boredom (need to limit or have no technology in order for this to be a possibility!) or engagement this summer, let us find the balance between protector and enforcer. Let our children know that we are present, sometimes physically in the other room and other times emotionally in their heads. Let us love them so much that they fail, and that when they do, it will be all right.
Enjoy your summer. See you in the fall.
Weeks at a Glance
- Teacher Appreciation Week: Monday, May 4 - Friday, May 8
- Spring Concert Series: Choir Concert - Tuesday, May 5, starting at 5:30 pm @ SHS
- Science MCA Makeup: 8th grade - Tuesday, May 5
- Teacher Professional Development: Monday, May 11 - no school
- End of Trimester 3: Friday, May 22 - end of the 2025-26 school year
- Summer Break: Monday, May 25 - Friday, August 21 - no school