“Hey there, Buddy!”
That is a personal greeting I recently learned and am trying to use every morning. Even as an adult, whether the day is routine or special, it is important to start the day with self-talk. A positive greeting to start my day can remind me to pause and recognize that I know who I am and what I stand for. Without it, my mind can allow doubts to creep in (Am I good enough? Have I prepared well enough? How will I respond when ____ happens?). The day-to-day challenges can lead to questioning oneself (Am I alone in this situation? Who will stand up for me? Who agrees with me and can be there by my side? Will he speak up and support my decisions? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be open to learning from others’ perspectives and experiences?). So beginning the day with positive self-talk grounds me in knowing that I am prepared and capable. I can be there for others, especially middle-schoolers, so they too can feel supported and able to take on the day’s challenges. A simple smile and “Hello” to myself can lead to others doing the same.
The middle-school years are full of pressure: trying to do what is “right” and to be “cool” (clothes, music, movies, friends, sports, grades). Sometimes the pressure can be overwhelming: Do or do I not _____? As teachers and parents, we are our learners’ and children’s guides. While we work with them, remembering our own positive self-talk, the collaboration we have is the needed support we need to help them. As their challenges happen, we need each another so we do not solve their challenges (this is called "positive struggle"). We can't do this work because they would miss out on learning and growing from this pressure. We need to teach them about their own, "Hey there, Buddy," so when the pressure appears to be getting to be a lot, they can use it to calm their doubts and fears.
There is a great video clip (It’s Not About The Nail) that helps to remind me to pause and listen. Even if I am capable of fixing one of the problems, my responsibility is to be present. I am the support, allowing for mistakes, helping to build confidence, being kind and empathetic, and reassuring when they hesistate. It is not about the “nail” – there will be many throughout the years – but is about being present, asking only questions that are curiosity-driven and checking for understanding in order to help with processing. The need is for collaboration to create positive action steps and outcomes. The learner feels that I am there and that s/he is more than good enough when with me.
The author Toni Morrison was on the Oprah Winfrey Show one episode and said, “When your child walks into the room, does your face light up? Does it speak what is in your heart?” I am working on not only my positive greeting but also that my face lights up when I see people and they see me. Conferences are next week, and while I hope my heart has been coming through my emails and blogs, my voicemails and texts, I want people to now feel they have been heard and that they see that they matter at Spectrum. There always will be disagreements and there will always be pressures, so I have encouraged my staff – and now I invite you as well – to join me in sharing your heart, letting your face light up, and giving a warm “Hey there, Buddy!” greeting.
Weeks at a Glance
- Friday, October 27: Student Council Fall Event - 2:45-4:00 pm
- Thursday, November 2: Parent-Teacher Conferences - 3:00-6:30 pm
- Friday, November 3 - Sunday, November 5: Spectrum High School Theater Performances
- Monday, November 6: Parent-Teacher Conferences - 3:00-6:30 pm